To her own reflection,
She says,' I will hold on.'
To her own reflection,
She says,' I will be strong.'
- 'Without You Here' by Finch
"They stop when everyone goes to sleep, right?" Robyn suddenly asked, and her eyes widened in amazement when the other girl shook her head no. “I’m going to be on five minute checks twenty-four hours a day?! What kind of sh-"
Someone banged on the door then, causing both girls to jump and look towards the door.
"Thora, who the hell is in there with you?"
Thora looked exasperated and shot Robyn a small smile. "Wanna meet someone else in the unit?"
Not really, Robyn thought as her roommate urged her to get up, and the blonde opened her door.
A girl stood in the doorway, a hand on her hip and one on the doorframe as she shot both teenagers a put-out look. Her thick dark blonde hair brushed her shoulders, and she regarded Robyn briefly with flat dark blue eyes. "And who are you?"
"This is my new roommate, Robyn," Thora proclaimed with a bright smile. “Robyn, this is Evan."
Evan barely gave Robyn another glance and a brief nod of her head before turning her attention back to Thora. "Where's Jill?"
Thora blinked, then shrugged. "I haven't seen her. And anyway, why would I know?"
Evan gave her a dirty look. "Don't get smart with me, pixie, I was just asking. What are you in for?" She turned her questioning to Robyn, fully looking at her for the first time with a vaguely insolent expression.
"It's none of your business," Robyn informed her indignantly.
The younger girl gave a humorless smile. "Isn't it? Listen, Red -"
"Posttraumatic," Thora filled in quickly, much to Robyn's rising annoyance. "And depression. She -"
"Thora, I can speak for myself," Robyn told her a little sharply, giving her a look meant to quiet her. She looked back to Evan and put a hand on her hip, but before she could speak, the other girl did it for her.
"Yeah, Thora, let red riding hood have her say," Evan smiled, folding her arms and pinning Robyn with a look.
Robyn's eyes narrowed. This girl's attitude was already getting on her nerves. "My problems are my business, thanks. And my name is Robyn."
"Right, the bird," Evan snapped her fingers in mock remembrance.
"Yeah, and with a name like Evan, your parents must’ve mistaken some body parts when you were born,” Robyn quipped sarcastically.
Thora snorted out laughter and immediately covered her mouth, and Evan's eyes went flat. "Aren't you a funny one," she remarked evenly.
"I crack myself up," Robyn responded in a tone of her own.
"Let's just drop it, okay girls?" Thora asked hopefully.
"Thora, get out of my face," Evan remarked dangerously.
"What's your problem?" Robyn asked Evan, anger starting to cloud in her eyes. “You look pretty young, but that doesn't mean you have to act like an ass, so whatever's causing the 'tude -"
"Easy, killer, I didn't stop by pixie's room to give you a hard time," Evan told her with a not completely sincere smile and completely insincere eyes. "You're making it sound like I should care whether she's got a new roommate. Sorry, can't say that I do. I guess I'll have to look for Jill elsewhere." She turned to talk away, then paused and turned back around. "Oh, and . . . welcome to Oakburg, Robyn," she drawled, reaching out to pat Robyn's cheek and give her a careless grin before turning on her heel again and sauntering away.
Evan's sudden change of emotion left Robyn confused, and she looked over at Thora. "What in God's name is *her* story?"
Thora idly scratched the back of her white blonde head before answering. "She's, uh, a sociopath."
Robyn's mouth dropped open. "You're telling me I just pissed off a sociopath?" Her face twisted into one of fear as she imagined what that girl could possibly do to her if she ever felt like exacting some revenge from their little argument.
"She's not gonna . . . do anything," Thora tried to reassure Robyn. "I think she's just curious about you right now. Not a lot of the girls here stand up to her."
"So I take it she's the bully of this little unit?" Robyn asked. It would figure. Every place had some sort of bully in it, didn't it?
Much to her surprise, Thora shook her head. "Not really. I mean, she does do some pretty rotten things sometimes, but I don't think she can help her attitude most of the time. She *is* a sociopath. There is one girl here that we kinda stay away from." Her voice lowered a bit. "Her name's Daniela. She can get pretty rough sometimes, and I don't really like being around her. Evan's not so bad sometimes, but Daniela's pretty much always . . . well, a bitch."
Robyn sighed. Her mood had pretty much plummeted since meeting Evan, and sunk even lower when she realized she'd have to deal with high school bully crap along with everything else that was just so lovely about this place.
"Well, anyway," Thora shrugged it off and slipped an arm through Robyn's companionably. "I know what we'll do - I'll show you around a little bit." Even though Robyn wasn't in the mood to do any sightseeing in the unit, the other girl looked so cheerful she didn't have the heart to tell her no. This could become a problem, she mused to herself as she allowed the younger blonde to chat away happily and give her a tour of the unit.
Three of the doors on either side of the hallway housed girls; two double rooms and a single room on either side. The left side held the floor’s rather large bathroom, and there was a laundry room, the living room or ‘lounge’ where the nurses station was located, and the recreational room that Thora explained was used for arts and crafts. The cafeteria and kitchen was accessible through a locked door at the end of the hall. When Thora led Robyn back to their living room, two girls sat on one of the couches, and the TV had been turned on.
"Oh, hey Aurelie and Miette!" Thora greeted happily. The former jerked her head around to stare at them, but the latter still sat with her back to them. Aurelie looked back with extremely watchful brown eyes. She shook Robyn's hand and offered a tentative, "Hey."
Miette's didn’t move. She was really young - couldn't have been more than twelve, with chin length curly black hair and tan skin. Hispanic, Robyn thought. Cute as a button, but she looked almost doll-like, sitting so still. She didn't offer a vocal greeting or even a nod of the head, and instead contented herself to watch Robyn from her position curled up on the couch, bare feet tucked under her.
"Anything good on TV?" Thora asked Aurelie with interest.
The brunette slowly shook her head. "There never is on weekday mornings. I don't even know why I'm watching."
"Just had to get out of the room, huh?" Thora deducted, to which Aurelie agreed with a wholehearted nod.
"Stifling in there sometimes," she added before returning her attention back to the TV screen with a solemn Miette.
Thora took that cue to leave, and her and Robyn walked back to their room. Once they were in, Robyn had to ask. "What do they have?"
"Aurelie has OCD," Thora explained as she plopped down on her bed.
Robyn furrowed her brow. "That sounds like the abbreviation for a drug."
The blonde laughed. "Nope. Obsessive-compulsive disorder. She's only been here for about a week and a half and she usually keeps to herself, so the only thing I know is that she doesn't like her stuff to be touched. She had a cow when Jill accidentally knocked over one of her books - they room together. And Miette has . . . I think they called it depersonalization disorder."
"I have no idea what that is," Robyn confessed.
Thora shrugged. "I think it's something like when you feel disconnected from your body, you know, like you're somewhere else. She doesn't react to much of anything, and her memory isn't that great. Odds are, tomorrow she'll forget who you are. She does it with me sometimes."
"Who else is on the floor?" the redhead asked. She went over to sit down on her bed, when suddenly the door clicked open.
Another nurse looked in, glanced over both of them briefly, wrote something down, and then shut it. Unnerved, Robyn gave the closed door a disgruntled look.
"You get used to it," Thora said almost apologetically.
I doubt it, she thought.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A young man with thick, black hair paced impatiently across the carpeted floor of a Brooklyn foster home as two other teenagers badgered the head social worker.
"Are you sure there ain't a Robyn here?" Derek asked for the umpteenth time, impatiently running his fingers through his brown hair, making it nearly stand on end.
"I'm positive we have no Robyn McCarthy staying at this foster facility," the woman continued just as impatiently. She was getting tired of these three hanging around and asking questions about the children staying there.
"No redheads, no nothin'?" he asked.
"No, young man," she said firmly," and even if there were, I wouldn't bother to tell you. The nature of the children here is disclosed information, and one that none of you will be privy to. Now I have to ask you to leave if that is all."
"Fine, thanks," Sheila interrupted before Derek could tell the woman off. She grabbed his arm and plastered a smile on her face for the woman as she gestured for Jason.
"Bitch," Derek muttered back towards the social worker as they left the building. "That's the ninth damn foster home we've checked! She's gotta be around here somewhere!"
"We've only checked nine, idiot," Jason informed him with a sneer. "Do you know how big this city is? It's littered with places for homeless kids."
"I don't wanna spend all my time searching these places for her," Sheila interjected, irritation clouding her pretty face. "Jase is right, there's dozens of these places, and frankly, I don't have the gas money to drive around to all of them." She inwardly cursed the problematic redhead for making this twenty times more difficult than it should have been. If that brat hadn't turned out to be chicken shit at the last minute . . .
"Sheila's right, I'm sick of carting around NYC just to find that little bi-" Jason cut Derek off with a smack to the head.
"We keep looking," he said fiercely. "I'm not letting Red ruin this for us."
"I don't have enough money to keep driving around!" Sheila protested.
"I can get the money," Derek told her, "I just don't wanna spend the time doin' this. Isn't there another way?"
The three stood on the sidewalk dejectedly as they wracked their brains for other ways to search for Robyn. Suddenly, Jason hit Derek.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" the smaller teen whined and clutched his throbbing shoulder.
"The school!" the larger teen said. "If we can get into the schools records, they might have information on the last place Robyn stayed."
"Whose to say she's even gonna be there?" Sheila asked skeptically.
"We don't, but it's worth a shot," Jason said firmly. "Once we get a lead, it should be a lot easier than driving around NYC, looking in foster homes."
"So now we're going to break into the school?" Derek raised an eyebrow.
Jason eyed him darkly. "Yeah. We are. You think we can't do it?"
Derek smirked. "No. The only question is how?"
"Like Kortez said - we've got powers. So we'll use 'em."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When lunch came, Angelina came to get Robyn personally to fill her in on the rest of the rules and regulations, which didn't turn out to be much. Thora had basically covered most of it. She was allowed to walk around freely on the unit, but she wasn’t allowed outside.
Robyn was astonished to see how many people she would have to talk to. She had been assigned a psychiatrist, a therapist, an activity therapist, a social worker, and a dietician. Seeing Robyn's overwhelmed expression, Angelina did her best to explain each one and how often she would have to see them - the psychiatrist and the therapist the most, practically everyday, and the dietician and social worker the least. Robyn was reeling by the time the woman was finished explaining everything.
Before long, she was sitting in the cafeteria, eating dinner with Thora. Five of the other girls had filtered in around them, and Thora introduced her to the two she hadn't met before.
Besides Miette, Aurelie, and Evan, were Jill and Ehrinn. Jill was a tall, pale girl with dark, wavy red hair and angry blue eyes, and Ehrinn had long, blonde hair that fell limp in dull, tarnished strands. She nodded at Robyn when they were introduced, studying her briefly through dark green eyes very much like her own before turning back down to her meal.
Evan watched Robyn sit down with her plate of food with careless curiosity. The redhead didn't look at her as she picked up her fork and reluctantly brought it to her food. "Robyn," she drawled out slowly, causing the girl to look up and regard her with suspicious green eyes. Evan smirked slowly. "How are you finding your new home, darling?"
Robyn suppressed a sigh of exasperation and annoyance. "Just peachy," she said sarcastically.
"How nice," Evan smiled before taking a bite of her food. She made a face as it went down. "What subterranean species did they kill to make this meat?"
Thora poked at her meat. "Bigfoot."
"It's probably not meat at all," Jill said, her eyes fixed on the brown slab on her plate. "Just processed shit from some factory in Kansas."
"Quit bitching, at least you didn't have to kill the cow to get your meat," Evan said, although there was no real censure to the comment.
"I don't think it's a cow," Jill countered.
"Does it really matter? " Ehrinn said, speaking up for the first time. She looked annoyed with the conversation. "At least we're not paying for it."
"What else do you suggest we talk about?" Evan bit back. "There's sure as hell nothing exciting going on here to talk about, besides red riding hood's arrival." Robyn gave Evan a dirty look, who smiled blandly back at her.
"What are you in here for?" Aurelie asked, taking advantage of the comment to appease her own curiosity.
"She's depressed," Evan answered for her, dark blue eyes still trained on Robyn's green ones. "And has posttraumatic stress disorder."
"What happened?" Jill asked.
Greatly annoyed with Evan's interference, Robyn seethed silently. "I don't want to talk about it," she muttered.
Two of the girls shrugged indifferently, and the rest left it alone. Robyn stifled a sigh of relief at their discretion, and turned her attention back to her food.
"I can't eat this crap," said Evan suddenly. She stood up, gave one last dirty look at her plate, and walked away.
Blinking, Robyn stared after her. What a strange, irritating girl. She hadn't known her for more than an hour, and she already didn't like her.
Apparently, Aurelie shared much the same thoughts." I don't think I'll ever get used to her," she said quietly. "She makes me nervous."
Jill smirked as she finished her meal. "Evan's not as bad as Daniela."
Robyn cocked her head to the side, listening. Here was another girl she might have to worry about. Gathering up her nerve, because her curiosity was killing her, she asked, "Why didn't she come to dinner?"
She felt incredibly self-conscious when all eyed landed on her. "She's been in the quiet room all day," Aurelie responded.
"She's got her own room, too," Thora said conversationally. She'd been quiet up until then, fascinated with the texture of her meat and lost in her own daydreams. "Couldn't have a roommate, I guess."
"Wish I had my own room." Jill muttered, and Aurelie narrowed her eyes at her roommate.
"Who else has their own room?" Robyn asked, feeling sort of jealous, although it wasn't because of Thora. She just preferred her own space.
Thora's brow furrowed in thought. "I think her name is Regan. I don’t see her that often.”
"Is she new?" Robyn asked curiously.
"No, she was here before me," Thora said, and the other two agreed. Seeing Robyn's expression, Thora shifted in her seat and explained. "Like I said, I don't see her all that much. Wish I did, though. I'd like to get to know her. They take her somewhere during the day, and they don't let her out much. Her door's always locked."
"Yeah. They keep telling us she's antisocial and too dangerous to be around us," Jill shrugged indifferently. "But I've never seen that girl act crazy."
"It's the drugs," Ehrinn said in a monotone voice. "It's gotta be."
"What kind of drugs?" Robyn couldn't help but ask.
"What is this, 21 questions?" Jill raised an eyebrow.
"Ease off, she's new here, Jill," Thora said, and then turned to Robyn. “We don't know. If she really has anti-social behavior, she might be on something Evan's on. Thorazin, or Prolixin."
"Antipsychotics," Jill explained dryly. She cracked a smile at Robyn's alarmed look. "It gets worse, honey. Mood stabilizers. Sleep meds. They've got me and Ehrinn on antidepressants."
"Don't forget me!" Thora chirped.
"Who could forget about you?" the other redhead remarked, and Thora smiled brilliantly. Jill shook her head. "They've also got her on Lithium."
Thora crinkled her nose. “You know how much water they make me drink after I take that stuff?"
"What . . . what do you think they'll put me on?" Robyn asked uneasily.
"Tenex," Jill and Ehrinn said together.
"What's that for?"
"Flashbacks," Ehrinn said in her same low, even tone."Tofranil - antidepressant. Probably something to help you sleep."
"They try to give me Desyrel when I can't sleep," Thora said. "So they might start you on that."
"Well, it's not like you can say no," Jill said dryly. "Then they'll just hold you down and give you the meds through a needle."
"Hey, it's okay!" Thora spoke up in concern when what little color in Robyn's face drained out. "That hardly ever happens. Just go along with it, I promise it's not so bad. Jeez, Jill, you scared her! Go away, you're no help at all," she flashed an irritated gaze at the other redhead, who merely smiled unapologetically and left the table. Thora turned blue eyes back on Robyn, who still had the look of a trapped rabbit. "Cheer up, Robyn, you won’t have to worry about that. Hey, why don’t we finish unpacking your stuff?”
Knowing a change of subject when she heard one, Robyn was reluctant to agree because her mind was still stuck on the drugs. She felt so helpless about it all, and it made her angry. What right did these people have to decide that she should be put on something? That was not part of the initial deal, and she didn't like it one bit. She knew there was really nothing she could do about it for the moment, so she allowed herself to be dragged from the cafeteria by a cheerfully talkative Thora back to their room.
The next few hours passed by uneventfully. Robyn didn't need to do much talking at all, for the blonde did it all for her - it was as if she'd been starved for someone to listen to her, and now that she had that someone, she was on a roll. The girl gestured and talked as if her life depended on it, and Robyn let her. She was as harmless as a puppy, and as cheerful as one, too.
The only interruptions to their conversation were the checks. Every five minutes, like clockwork, a nurse with brown hair would open the door. This one wouldn't say anything - just took note of their presences and quietly shut the door. It bothered Robyn the first twenty minutes, but she quickly learned to tune it out like Thora did. It was easier to pretend normalcy by ignoring them.
Ten at night was lights out for the girls, and when that time came, signaling her first night there, Robyn was already curled up in her bed across from Thora. All Robyn wanted to do was stay in her miserable ball and have a good cry about how much her life sucked at the moment, because it all seemed to hit her just as she was settling down to sleep, but Thora was disinclined to let her have that.
"These beds are pretty comfortable, don't you think?" Thora said as she stared up at the ceiling and idly scratched her foot. "Well, my bed at home was softer, these are more firm, but I'm pretty used to them. So what do you think of Angel? She's a pretty cool nurse, huh?"
Robyn sighed inwardly and closed her eyes. "Yeah, she's cool."
"She understands us a bit better than the other nurses. I hope we have better food tomorrow. I didn't eat much of dinner and I'm pretty hungry."
Robyn didn't eat much of it, either, and her stomach made a noise in sympathy with Thora's comment.
"A snack would be great. I'm pretty sure Linda will let us get a snack from the kitchen if you're hungry enough."
Robyn's stomach made a growling agreement, and she reluctantly lifted her head from the pillow to nod. Maybe a snack would help calm her new roommate down so she'd stop talking.
The hall was quiet, still, and dark. The only window was at the far left end of the hall, and pale moonlight filtered in through the mesh and bars. Robyn hugged herself as they walked into the cafeteria. The area was dark except for the white light streaming through an open doorway in the far corner. They headed toward it, and had to blink against the sudden brightness of the large kitchen. Stainless steel gleamed, and the refrigerator and other various kitchen appliances glowed a pristine white. Robyn almost forgot she was in a hospital - it looked like a chef’s kitchen.
A large woman sat at one of the counters, reading a battered book and snacking on some cookies. The fabric of her uniform strained around her form, and she was humming to herself as she read.
“Linda?” Thora asked, and the woman jumped.
“Goodness, you scared me!” she exclaimed when she turned around, a hand to her large bosom. “I didn’t even hear you two enter. What are you doing up?”
“We’re hungry,” Thora responded. “Can we get a snack?”
Linda frowned. “Now, you know I’m not supposed to do this, Thora. You’re going to have to start eating what they give you.”
“Well this is Robyn’s first night here, and I think she’d feel better if she had a snack,” Thora explained. I so did not want to be brought into this, Robyn thought glumly as the nurse eyed her.
“Just this once,” Linda replied. She hefted herself off of her stool and walked them to the fridge to pull out a clear box of strawberries and grapes and grabbed some paper plates to put them on. As she washed them for the girls, Robyn eyed the cookies on the nurses’ plate with a frown. Why did she get the cookies? A cookie sounded so much better than fruit. At this point in time, a cookie sounded fantastic.
“Here you ladies go,” she handed them each a paper plate with grapes and a few strawberries. “Just throw the plates away when you’re done, and don’t be wandering the halls.”
“Thanks, Linda!” Thora smiled happily and munched on a strawberry. As they walked out, a nurse walked in.
“Oh, there you two are,” she said. “You weren’t in your rooms.”
“Sorry, we were hungry,” Thora said.
She clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Don’t make this a habit. Go straight back when you’re done.” They nodded, and she walked away.
That little scene didn’t make Robyn feel any better about her situation. Did they not have any privacy? Were they really going to monitor her all the time? She didn’t know if she could take that. The majority of her wanted to rebel against this furiously, but the rational side of her knew there was next to nothing she could do. She’d only make herself look like an idiot and get into more trouble. She let out a frustrated sigh at her lose-lose situation.
The two were finished with their snack by the time they reached the hallway, and immediately began searching for a garbage can to throw it in. Robyn found one by a pair of double doors further down the hallway, and motioned for Thora.
They had just thrown their things away when the lock on the double doors slid open. Startled, the girls turned towards it and stared as the doors opened. Thora grabbed her arm and tugged them both around the closest corner by one the patient doors. Robyn assumed she didn’t want them to be caught wandering the hall at night.
Two orderlies walked in, holding the arms of someone between them. Robyn squinted to see who it was, because it was obviously someone from her unit, but the only thing she could make out was long dark hair.
“Daniela?” Robyn barely whispered in Thora’s ear.
The blonde shook her head and quietly whispered back, “It’s the other girl we were talking about. Regan.”
Robyn’s curiosity piqued, she continued to stare as they pulled the slow moving form along, and to their surprise, the three stopped at the door next to the corner the girls were hiding behind. Robyn’s face was two feet away from the closest orderly’s arm. If she leaned forward a bit, she could just make out a slender arm firmly clasped in his other hand. She noticed immediately that the inside of the arm had a cotton swab taped to it. Didn’t want to take her meds? So much for that hardly ever happening, she thought dryly. Robyn held in her breath as they unlocked the door and escorted the girl in. They were gone for about a minute, then came back out, shut and relocked the door. They left as silently as they came, and Robyn let out the breath.
“They’re from the main hospital, the research part,” Thora said in an uncharacteristically quiet tone.
“How do you know?”
“I saw the label on the guy’s jacket. I wonder what they’re researching out there. I didn’t know they were taking her there.”
Robyn suppressed a shudder at the thought. Why would they be taking a tpeitn to research? When Thora motioned for them to leave, Robyn almost went, but stopped herself at the last moment. She turned her attention back to the doorway they took the girl in, and immediately noticed the small rectangular window at eye level. Curiosity overcame her, and she walked up to it and peered in as discreetly as she could.
There was faint light coming from a corner, probably a lamp because she didn’t see a window. There wasn’t much in the room, like there was in hers, and she could make out half of a bed and a small dresser. She didn’t see the girl anywhere, which caused her to frown. Where was she, hiding in a corner?
Another pair of eyes abruptly came into view, and Robyn let out a gasp of surprise before she could stop herself. She stared into a pair of startlingly pale green eyes framed by dark, tangled hair.
Robyn couldn’t look away. She felt like the girl was studying her, like she was just as curious as herself about the person on the other side. The girl’s facial features were a bit hard to make out because of the dark in the hallway and the dim light behind her, but her eyes were so clear to Robyn.
The emotions in them weren’t so clear. Curiosity, but also . . . Sorrow? She looked sad. Worn out. Like she’d been let down or beaten down so much, she was ready to throw in the towel.
Robyn’s breath caught. She knew that look well. She saw it when she looked in the mirror everyday. Her heart went out to the girl on the other side, who had the same eyes as hers.
“Robyn, someone’s coming,” Thora said softly behind her. Robyn lingered a moment more, still studying the eyes that were studying her. Finally, she tore her gaze away and reluctantly walked back with Thora to their room.
They were both quiet as they got ready for bed. Robyn slipped on her pajamas and curled up in the bed, under the covers. She watched, muted, as Thora reached over to turn off the light. The room plunged into darkness, and Robyn disliked that even more.
“Her name’s Regan?” Robyn asked abruptly.
“Yeah.”
“Why would they take her to the research part of the hospital?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she has something they want to study. Something odd.”
Robyn found herself shaking her head. Those eyes were not the eyes of a crazy person. They were the eyes of someone who knew exactly what was going on. And hated it.
Like herself.
“I don’t think so,” she whispered, half to herself. Thora was quiet, so she assumed she went to sleep. Robyn sighed and turned on her side, remembering the girl’s sad, observant eyes. Out of all the people she’d met on the floor, this Regan girl really intrigued her the most. She wanted to know her story. Maybe they were in the same boat. The thought of not being the only one who wasn’t okay with this getup made her heart flare with hope.
Getting ahead of yourself, Robyn, she scolded herself. This girl might be a psycho. Just because you made eye contact with her and you feel sorry for her like you feel sorry for yourself doesn’t make you buddies.
I just want to speak to someone who might understand, she thought hopelessly, and felt tears pricking her eyes. Her roommate didn’t -she was too flipping happy all the time. Evan pissed her off, Jill was kinda scary, and the other girls were antisocial.
She scrubbed at her eyes in an effort to keep it all in. This wasn’t fair, her mind told her over and over. It wasn’t right. She didn’t belong here. What was she going to tell those therapists tomorrow? Thinking of it made anxiety rip through her stomach. She had no idea. She’d never talked to a shrink, so she couldn’t imagine what they would ask. How much they would pry. She didn’t want to talk to them; she just wanted to leave.
Thinking of leaving made her think of the problem she had waiting for her outside the walls of the hospital. Could they find her here? Robyn wanted to say she didn’t think so. She was hours away from there, and probably in the last place they’d think to look. Besides, they couldn’t just come here and take her away. These people were determined to keep her in; they wouldn’t let her leave with a strange guy.
When she thought of it that way, Robyn grew comforted. For once today, she felt a little safer. If she couldn’t leave, they couldn’t take her out. Maybe being here for a little while would help her in the long run. Jason and them would think she’d taken off for some other state, and by the time she got out of here, they might think she’d be clear across the country. Maybe they’d give up. That thought made her excited, but she wasn’t sure if they would give up so easily. Either way, they wouldn’t expect her to near for so long. So that might give her an advantage.
Robyn’s mind flew into dozens of ideas for the immediate and later future until she finally dozed off into sleep.