When We Talk About Family
By: Ghost of the Dawn
(Robyn)
It's funny how things work out sometimes. If someone were to come up one day and tell me all the things that would happen to me and all the things I know now; I probably would have maced the guy and ran for the cops. Life is just weird sometimes. And what'cha gonna do?
I met Cye Mouri and his friends shortly before I graduated from college. See, these guys don't exactly live normal lives. They had been given special armors to help protect this world from anything that comes to threaten it. And during that certain year, I discovered I had powers of my own. Not a Ronin like they were, but a "Maiden of Crystal" I was called. I got to tote around this cool staff and helped defeat the evil Dynasty master before he took over the mortal realm. See? I told you--weird.
Cye was the first of the Ronins I had the chance to meet. He was sitting among the thick, green grass, a book in his hand. He was reading by himself under the shade of a large tree. I thought he was incredibly cute. So I went over and introduced myself; tried to joke around with him and just get to know the guy better. He shot me down less than two minutes into the game. I thought my chances with him were over after that. But I thought wrong.
Not long after, I got home in time to experience my place getting torched to the ground. Luckily, Time Traveler Yulie (I like to call him that, he hates it) saved my butt and as a bonus, gave me this magic crystal staff and sent me off to save some guys he called "Ronins". Whatever.
So here's clueless me wandering around and having no idea what I'm supposed to do when this crazy chick shows up in armor and I'm like "What the hell?" I find out later her name is Sheila. I realized quite a lot sooner how much I hated her. She had this pitiful looking guy with her and I about dropped my new magic stick when I realized it was Cye, the guy I met earlier. He looked so sad and scared, I can't even describe it properly. It made me mad to see him that way so I sent Sheila flying back to whatever rat hole she crawled out of.
When we were alone, I got a chance to see how Cye was doing. He was curled up and looking so lost and scared--scared of me. My heart just broke to see him like that. But I got him to open up and talk to me. That's when I learned more about Cye Mouri than I really wanted to know at that time.
Apparently, he and that Sheila girl had a history together. She raped him, got pregnant, and then left him an infant and a death threat before skipping town. Poor guy. What do you say after someone tells you something like that? Luckily, we didn't have much time to stay in uncomfortable silences. Things were moving fast and before I knew it, we were facing off against Talpa, the main boss man himself.
We won, of course. Otherwise, none of you guys would be around to read this. After it was all over, I got the chance to get to know the Ronins better--especially Cye. We started dating and, eventually, one thing led to another and now I'm married to him. There's some days I still can't believe it. I honestly never thought he would fall in love with me. What a surprise.
But even though I ended up with the man of my dreams, it didn't mean that from then on my life just floated merrily by. Did I mention he already had a daughter? I was less afraid of Talpa than I was of this girl. I didn't know anything about kids. What was I supposed to do?
Back when we were still dating early on, Cye asked me for the first time to baby-sit. He might as well have asked me to walk into a flaming pit with my shoes off. Not only did I have to watch Ariel, but I was also put in charge of Mia's adopted daughters Skye and Starr as well. Cye either had a lot of faith in me or he was just REALLY desperate for a baby-sitter. To this day I'm still not sure which it was.
But Cye did have some heart. He made his friend Kojiro stay over and baby-sit with me. Now, I like Kojiro, I really do. But him and I, we're just....too much the same. We are. It's like trying to force two magnets of the same polarity together. It just doesn't work. Especially since Mr. Big-Time-Baby-Sitting-Know-It-All kept trying to tell me what to do.
To make a long story short, we thought we had control when, in reality, the kids--who outnumbered us I might add--took complete dominion of the house. And I soon learned there's only three people on this Earth they listen to. Unfortunately, neither Kojiro or I were one of them. By the time Cye had returned home, Kojiro had called up his sub armor and me my staff--for self defense purposes only, I swear!
The little demons who, only seconds before were about to bear down on us with all their wrath, saw Cye and suddenly turned on the water works. I couldn't believe it! All of a sudden we were the big, evil monsters terrorizing them! They all ran to Cye, crying on his pant legs and bawling up a storm of false accusations. Once it gets that far, there's no reason in pushing your case, you just have to sit and take your punishment like an adult.
Needless to say, we kind of got yelled at. Well, Kojiro got yelled at. Apparently Cye, for some odd reason, thought he should have known better. I got "The Look". I would have rather been yelled at. Cye has had many years of practice to perfect The Look. So by the time he met me, there was no way I could resist it. I'm still not sure how he does it, but it's this mix of disappointment, sadness, and pity. I hate it. It makes me feel like the scum of the earth whenever he gives it to me. I admit, most of the time I deserve it. But still; I wonder if he realizes what a powerful weapon he has there.
But in all reality, Ariel is actually a pretty good kid. She likes to get into mischief like the rest of us. And I think, in the beginning, she was just wary of a new female taking away some of her dad's attention when she used to get it all. I never blamed her. And after she found out who her real mother was, it was anyone's guess as to what she thought about me. Eventually, we did get along. Even now, I don't think Ariel will ever refer to me as "Mom", but that's okay by me. I would rather be thought of as her friend than her old lady anyway.
But Ariel wasn't the only thing I had to get used to when I married into the Mouri family. I also had a new father-in-law. And a strange one at that. Oh, he was nice enough, to be sure. The kids all adored him. But the thing about him was that physically, he was only four years older than Cye--mentally, he was four hundred. How is one supposed to deal with that? And he's quite good looking, too. It was REALLY hard getting used to that part. Words cannot express the weirdness one feels when they catch themselves checking out their husband's father.
But, like everything else, I learned to live with it. And strangely enough, it doesn't feel so weird any more. It just feels like....family. That was quite a foreign word to me before I met the Ronins. Growing up, I never really had the opportunity to experience much of a family life. In fact, before then, I couldn't recall a time when I didn't feel alone. I marveled in the acceptance I felt when I met the Ronins and I never wanted to leave it.
Much to my surprise, it turned out that Cye didn't want me to leave it either. I honestly never thought he'd fall in love with me. Even more so when I was told his whole story. But that didn't matter to me then. All I wanted to do was protect him, to help him, to somehow save him from the fate he was already handed. And as long as he let me do that, whatever he felt about me didn't matter. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
I found out differently the night he finally said out loud that he loved me. He looked right at me with those breathtakingly beautiful eyes of his when he said it. Something inside me just broke when I heard that. In my heart I felt happy and yet, there was a pain there as well. And yes, I cried. I realize it was probably a really hard thing for Cye to do. I didn't help the situation any by bawling like that. He was so good about it. He just sat there calmly and held me for as long as I needed.
I still remember these times as I watch him across the counter. He's standing there over a hot pan on the stove. (Cye loves to cook, by the way. I don't. I do okay in the kitchen. But if we want the kids to eat what's being served, Cye usually does the cooking.) He's just standing there, working merrily. By all outer appearances he's led a full, healthy, enriching life. He looks like he doesn't have a care in the world--like no possible hurt or disappointment can touch him. My Cye was always a good actor that way.
But I know better. I know what he went through and I still can't believe it's the same man standing in front of me now. Ever since I met him I have admired his strength, his kindness, his courage. I wish I could be like that--even a little bit. I could have never done what he did--got back on my feet and picked up and pieced together my sanity after something like that. To go on alone, with a child no less, not knowing what do to or what's going to happen to you. Cye is a man unlike any other I have met before and I still watch in awe over the things he can do. I wonder if he knows that.....
*******
(Kojiro)
When I first met Cye at the Teen Crisis Center, I never would have imagined how getting involved with that guy would change my future. Sure, it was kind of obvious things would be different when the kid walked in with a baby in his arms. But I'm not talking different, I'm talking DIFFERENT. Like magical powers and armor chomping evil dynasty masters from alternate worlds. Yeah, I still have trouble believing it myself.
But being the bearer of Icefire was cool. I got to help save the world--it makes for a great pick-up line at the mall. And quite honestly, I couldn't think of a better bunch of guys to fall in with than Cye and his friends. Also, being able to take part in helping to raise Ariel, well, it wasn't necessarily a bad experience, you know? It was kind of nice. She still calls me her uncle all the time which is cool.
Getting in with the Ronins was like suddenly having a family again. It's been a long time since I had one of those. I finally had a place where I belonged and it felt good. It felt real good. I feel more attached to these guys and more welcome than I ever did with my own family. Cye has become like a brother to me and he's truly the best friend I've ever had.
Though that one night when he left Robyn and I baby-sitting I thought he was going to disown us both. I admit, I did let things get out of hand. After all those years of helping Cye raise Ariel, I thought I could handle three little kids for one night. Confidentially, if Robyn wasn't around I probably could have kept things under control by myself. Of course, Cye really would have blown up at me if I said that, so I kept my trap shut.
After I had received my verbal beating I retreated to the back porch to lick my wounds and do some sketching. I had my drawing pad and all my stuff scattered about me when Robyn came up--probably to escape Cye's evil death glare as well.
"Hot chocolate?" she asked as she handed me a steaming mug.
I accepted it, of course. Cye may be the cook of the household but no one can make hot chocolate like Robyn. It's perfect every time--just a pinch of mint and always the right amount of marshmallows. Cye's been bugging her for years to tell him her secret. She claims she doesn't have one--that she sings while she's making it and that's what makes it sweet. Yeah, I think Robyn's full of it, too. But I don't blame her for wanting to keep one secret away from the Kitchen King.
"What are you working on?" Robyn then asked as she sat down next to me and looked over my shoulder.
I looked up from the beach landscape I was working on with my chalks.
"Not much right now," I replied, looking at the picture I had just barely started.
"Can I have some paper?"
I motioned to the stack of blank paper at my side; she took one and a pencil. She started doodling while sipping her hot chocolate. We both sat quiet for a while, each concentrating on our own works.
"Hey Kojiro, guess who this is," Robyn said as she showed me her picture.
It was a rough sketch of a big headed cartoony guy like you see in the comic books. His hair kind of looked familiar. His mouth was big like he was yelling at someone. Fire was spurting from his mouth and smoke out of his ears. I had an inkling who it was.
"It's Cye when he got mad at us today," Robyn giggled.
I couldn't help but crack up laughing at the sight of the picture. Robyn wouldn't be a half bad artist if she took it seriously. And some of the things she comes up with--she's almost as creative as me at times--almost.
After our laughter died down, Robyn flipped the page over and started drawing again on the other side. I went back to my landscape. Later, we both heard the sliding door open and close. It wasn't hard for us to guess who was coming our way. I glanced at Robyn and I could tell she was trying to decided the same thing I was. Were we still mad at Cye for yelling at us or not?
"So this is where you two went to hide," a slightly accented voice said.
I looked at Robyn's face and our decision seemed unanimous. Not. I don't think there's anyone in the world who can stay mad at Cye Mouri for more than five minutes.
"What are you guys doing?" he then asked.
"Not much," Robyn replied, fiddling with her paper. "Just waiting until it's safe to go back into the house."
Cye smiled apologetically as he joined us on the steps, sitting next to Robyn. He was always over protective of his daughter. Could you blame him? He was a first time parent and still quite a young one at that. He was always so worried about making mistakes with Ariel so we understood.
"Nice picture," Cye commented, looking over Robyn's shoulder with an amused expression.
I looked over to see what she had been working on now. It was a picture of two stick figures--a girl and a boy--holding hands and smiling. The little arrows above them pointed out their names as "Robyn" and "Cye". I wasn't surprised. Robyn just laughed when he saw the picture. It was no big secret she had a thing for Cye since the day she saw him. She never tried to hide it either. And with Cye never giving her a definite answer to the way he felt, I guess joking about it was the only way the poor girl stayed sane through it all.
"Here, let me fix that," I offered, leaning over the paper in her lap. I erased Cye's name over the first arrow and put my own. "There, that's better."
Robyn laughed while Cye narrowed his eyes at me. I didn't care. Since Cye refused to lay any claims on her she was still up for grabs in my book. Though I always knew better than to try to get serious with her, Robyn was still fun to flirt with.
"Well, I think I'll go to bed now," Robyn announced when she had finished laughing. "Good night you guys."
We both said our goodnights as she left. I noticed Cye watched her all the way back to the door. Not that I didn't blame him. The view wasn't too shabby, if you know what I mean.
"So," I said, turning back to my friend. "If you guys don't have any plans this weekend, would you mind if I..?" I motioned to the direction Robyn had gone with my head.
Cye wrote me a death threat with that glare of his. It was exactly the reaction I was looking for.
"You really love her, don't you," I said, a bit of marvel in my voice.
Cye didn't answer. Instead, he looked down at his shoes. I understood. For Cye--especially after experiencing something like he went through--admitting those kind of things out loud was hard for him.
"You plan on telling her sometime?" I pressed.
"Maybe. I--I hope I can," he finally admitted.
I nodded, satisfied with his answer.
"Hey," Cye said as he picked up Robyn's paper and looked on the back. "What's this a picture of?"
That was my cue to retreat back into the house warp factor seven!
******
(Ariel)
I know I don't have a normal family like most kids at school do. My mom doesn't live with us and I'm glad. I met her once. She's a mean lady. She did some things to my daddy once and it seems to make him sad sometimes. I wish I was older so I could understand and help him so he's not so sad. But Daddy says that I help by just being his girl. That makes me happy, but I still wish I could do more.
Daddy has a lot of friends, too. We all used to live together in Mia's house. It was a lot of fun with Uncle Kento and Sagey and White Blaze and everybody. My grandpa lived with us, too. He doesn't look like other kids' grandpas and he doesn't act like them either. But Daddy says he's still my grandpa and I'm glad he is. He's the best grandpa in the world!
We met Robyn a while later. She helped Daddy and his friends fight off Talpa and his evil Warlords. They were going to destroy our world and the Ronin Warriors had to save it. After that, Robyn came to stay with us because her place got burned down. Daddy never said anything, but he was happy about it.
Robyn was always nice to me, not like my real mom. When she first came to stay with us she would always look at me funny, like she was afraid of me or something. Daddy said she wasn't used to taking care of children like he was and I needed to be patient with her. I tried to be, I really did. I was patient and nice to show her she didn't need to be afraid of me. Except for when she and Uncle Kojiro baby-sat Star, Skye, and me. That didn't turn out good. Dad was disappointed and he wouldn't let them baby-sit us together any more.
Dad and Robyn started going out on dates. I didn't mind at first, it made Dad happy and I like to see him happy. But then he started spending more time with Robyn than he did with me. I was starting to think he loved her more than me. One time they were going to go out on a date and I got mad because I wanted Daddy to stay home with me. I know it wasn't very nice of me and I threw a really big tantrum. They ended up not going out and my dad gave me that disappointed look he has. I was sent to my room while my dad and Robyn stayed home and watched a movie.
I was still really mad though. Robyn came in later that night and sat at the foot of my bed with her legs crossed--like Star and Skye do sometimes when we sit around and talk. And we talked for a long time about a lot of things. We talked about relationships and people. And we talked about Daddy and us and just a lot of things. I felt better when it was over. Robyn was my friend after that.
When we were done talking , she tucked me in and then she sang me a lullaby. Daddy used to sing me some songs when I was little. But it wasn't the same as when Robyn sang. Her voice is sweet and gentle and pretty. Like an angel's. She tucked me in and that was the first time she kissed me goodnight. Star and Skye often told me things about what their mothers did for bedtime. I was always sad I never had that. That was the first time I really understood what they were talking about.
A few minutes after Robyn left and went to her room, Daddy came in to see me.
"Still mad?" he asked me quietly.
"No," I said from under my covers. "I'm not mad. I'm sorry I ruined your night."
He came in and sat on my bed beside me. "It's okay. Maybe I do need to spend more time with you. I didn't mean for you to feel left out. You know I will always love you no matter who comes into my life."
"I know," I smiled at him.
He smiled back and kissed me on the forehead. Then he got up and walked to the door.
"Daddy," I called. "If you want to marry Robyn, I don't mind. I think she would make a good mother."
My dad looked at me surprised for a moment. Then he smiled.
"I think so, too," he said and turned off the light.
******
(Cye)
I didn't ask for any of this. This wasn't the life I had planned for myself when I was young. I know there were some things that have happened to me I could have done without. But as I think about my life, there's also many things I wouldn't change for the world. I love the life I have now. I'm very happy with it and I would never want to give it up.
Ariel was a real blessing amidst my teenage life of chaos. Some days it would just hurt so much to get out of bed each morning and I would feel like I didn't have the will to go on another day. But when I held Ariel in my arms, everything suddenly felt better and I had the courage to go on. Between her and Kojiro, we were a family then. We were all each other had and it was enough to carry us through. Even though I still missed the others terribly during that time. Only after we were all together again did I finally feel whole.
Everything was going great when I was back with the other Ronins again. But then this strange red-haired girl jumped into my life and I was thrown off balance once again. I wasn't sure what Robyn wanted from me the first time I saw her. She had red hair and green eyes--just like Sheila. My mistake was not noticing that that's where the similarities ended. I panicked that day and ran away from a girl who was just trying to be nice to me. I know I must have hurt her feelings then. I still do what I can to try and make it up to her.
I had never been in love before I met Robyn. I once thought I was when I was dating Sheila, but it wasn't the same. Time and time again I found myself comparing Sheila and Robyn. They are no where near the same; I should have known from the beginning they weren't. In fact, I would have to say Robyn is Sheila's exact opposite. Unlike my old girlfriend, Robyn is sweet, patient, and understanding. Even now, she still blushes when she catches me watching her. It's funny, the times she acts shy are the times I want her the most.
The night she cried when I finally admitted my feelings for her was the night I really began to understand what love was. For all that time I left her hanging without an answer, without an inkling as to how I felt, she stayed with me. They say real love is unconditional and long suffering. Then she must love me far more than I can comprehend--at least more than I deserve.
That night we first made love, I don't know if she knew, but I was nervous and frightened about the whole thing. It wasn't her I was scared of. It was...I'm not sure how to explain it. That thing with Sheila--that wasn't the most positive experience for me. What I saw probably most of the boys in our school fantasized about. But I can hardly bear to think about it; even now.
And that night, I was afraid that....maybe I wouldn't like it. Or that I would have some sort of flash back from that long ago experience or that I would find out that I didn't--I was just scared of a lot of things that night. But when I saw her laying there, looking up at me with so much love in her eyes. The way she would lightly touch my face as if trying to memorize every curve; she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Right then and there, my whole being was filled with only one desire and that was to make her happy.
I knew it was the right thing to propose to her that night. It's still, by far, the smartest thing I had ever done short of deciding to take care of Ariel. Robyn brought back a peace of mind I never thought I'd have again. She made us into a family. But not just her--everyone. Dad, Kojiro, the guys, Mia, everyone. We were all a family. We all belonged together. And nothing that happens to any of us matters because we all have each other and that's what's important.
I'm married now, of course. Have been for a while. I have a nice job, too. One that I enjoy. I do a lot of work with marine life from tending to animals at the marina to doing studies out in the wild ocean. But there was one day where something happened that I'll never forget.
A friend of mine and I were out on the open ocean doing some scuba diving. Well, he had scuba gear, I can usually do without the stuff. But we happened upon some illegal fishing nets set up in the water. They're strung up like a real fence with weights to hold them down. I don't know what the poachers were intending to catch when they put them up, but they sure caught plenty.
All different kinds of marine life had been tangled up in the nets--most of them dead by the time we got there. It was a disheartening sight to see. Sharks, fish, turtles, all kinds of things were victims of the heartless nets. As we hauled them into our boat we came upon a baby dolphin who had also died because of the poachers. Its poor little body was so horribly caught up in the rope it almost had decapitated itself. The beautiful skin was cut deep from the bindings and I couldn't help but think of what a horrible death it must have gone through.
Now, Kento always gets after me about being too sensitive about such things. But I can't help it. It just hurts me to see another creature suffer, no matter what it is. I was left with a kind of cold, empty feeling after that.
I got home late that night. Ariel was already in bed. Robyn was up at her desk, grading the college English papers for the classes she taught. She took time enough to call greetings to me when I came in before going back to her reading. I numbly returned it before getting myself something to eat. I wasn't hungry that night though.
I sat at the kitchen counter, my plate untouched as I watched Robyn, my wife, reading at her desk across the room. There was a horrible aching inside me that I could not describe and I didn't know what to do to get rid of it. So I just sat there. I sat there and watched her, feeling that cold emptiness continue to grow inside me.
*****
(Robyn)
I didn't notice anything was wrong that night when Cye came home. He's very good at hiding what he's feeling when he wants to. Plus, I had a whole pile of research papers to go over and only a few more days to finish them. Of course, I always have the time to welcome home my husband when he gets back. After that, I was vaguely aware of him moving around in the kitchen as I turned back to the task at hand.
I was left with several more minutes of quiet to work before I felt his hands lightly on my shoulders. I hadn't even noticed he had approached me. His strong, capable hands began to slowly rub my shoulders. I had been hunched over those papers for a few hours already so I welcomed the massage to my sore muscles. He was always so good at knowing exactly what I needed.
He worked on my shoulders and back for a while before bending over to breathe on my neck and hook one arm under my knees. Needless to say, I was quite surprised when he suddenly took me from my desk and lifted me up in his arms. He didn't look at me as he started carrying me off to our bedroom. The look on my face must have been one of pure confusion. He usually wasn't like this. At least, he would look at me and talk to me when he wanted me somewhere.
When he shut our door and laid me on the bed, I had an inkling to what he might be wanting.
"Cye," I told him right out. "I don't have time to fool around tonight. I've got papers to do."
He grabbed my shoulders and looked right at me with those beautiful sea green eyes of his. "I want you here," he told me, stern but gentle.
I blinked in surprise over his statement as he crawled onto the bed next to me. I remained where I was obediently, waiting for whatever it was he was planning to do. Surprised again, Cye merely curled up beside me and rested his head at the base of my neck. His arms went around me and pulled me close.
"I had a bad day," he whispered.
At those words, I finally understood. I returned the embrace and ran my fingers slowly through his thick, silky hair. He breathed out a sigh and a could eventually feel the day's tension leave his body. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep in my arms. I remained there for the rest of the night. Yes, my students might be disappointed that they would get their grades a day late, but this was about family. This was more important.